Don’t Judge Me

Now I know I’ve never been in love before you.

I came close once before. I know this because when you’re in love with someone you give them “that look”. You know, when your soul just pours out through your eyes. That look that reveals everything you have stored up inside of you. The vulnerability that is exposed through one glance. Well I’ve given that glance once before. I let myself fall for someone, but he didn’t love me back. Or maybe he did but he never let it show. And that broke me until I met you.

But this time, oh, it’s so. much. better. It’s an intensity that can barely be described. It’s a sharp pain in my heart that rushes up through me. It’s thousands of butterflies buzzing around in my gut. It’s the way you can change my mood from one second to the next. I’m like a ticking time bomb of feelings. At 3:00 pm I don’t need you but by 10pm, oh, I’m in love.

I think this time it’s so good because I know you feel the exact same way. There’s no guessing with you. I feel like my love is safe with you. Like you won’t break it or misuse it. And, oh, that feels so great. You’re an open book, I can read you from cover to cover each night. And you’re the best kind of story, the type you can get lost in. One that lives on even after the book is closed.

I wish I could bottle this feeling. All of you, our memories and your touch. You are permanently imprinted on my soul. And think that why this scares me so much. Because a piece of you is with me always, no matter what. Love is said to be transient and if this love happens to float away, I’ll be left with these pieces of you. And I don’t think I can carry all that weight without you there to lift me up. So don’t leave. Don’t break it. Because I don’t think I can bear it.

And don’t judge me because I can’t believe I just said that I love you.

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