A few days ago I wrote about a drunken mishap with a good friend of mine involving wine (A Mess of Feelings or Something Like it). That was last Friday. I took the weekend (and Monday) to think about my feelings. What it meant. What it didn’t mean. What it could mean. I decided that I was drunk and lonely and he was not the guy that I wanted to be with. I decided I did not want to pursue anything.
Well now a week has gone by and I can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t know why its on my mind. Nagging me.
Background: He told me a while ago of this girl that he got set up on a blind date with. Apparently she’s crazy (his words not mine). She was actually texting him the night our drunken mishap happened. Without going into too much detail, she’s a little crazy.
Today I log onto Facebook and there is a picture of him, and her, on a romantic date. At first I was like wait I thought she was crazy why are you with her??
Then that pang feeling happened in my stomach. You know the one where your stomach just drops.
Is it possible that I am so lonely that I am just thinking about him because it’s convenient and there are no others to take his place? Or is it possible that I actually like him? Which makes me feel a little sick. And very confused.
I think tonight I will consult my good friend, Cabernet Sauvignon, and see what he has to say about the situation. After all, he’s the one who got me in this mess in the first place.