Marriage (or something like it)

Maybe I’m crazy but I don’t want to get married. Like ever. Don’t get me wrong I fantasize about what I want my wedding dress to look like and where I want to get married. But when you really think about it I’m really fantasizing about a wedding, not a marriage.

The thought of spending the rest of my life with just one person scares the shit out of me. But that isn’t even the whole of it. I am 23 years old I should be scared of marriage. One day I know I will come to terms with wanting to spend my life with one person. I just need to meet the right guy…blah…blah…blah.

But really I just hate the whole idea of marriage.

Our society places so much importance on getting married. From the time we are young we see it idolized in the media. Little girls dream of their wedding days. All of the new wedding shows on TLC and other networks. Society has made marriage into a commodity. They have made it into the end all to be all. As if there is no other option in life. You have to meet someone. You have to get married. You have to move into a nice house. You have to have kids. You have to raise them properly. blah…blah…blah.

And if you happen not to follow that path, people shun you. Getting married and having kids is the normal thing to do. And if you happen to turn 30 and still aren’t married then there is extreme pressure to do so. It is almost as if you aren’t a complete person unless you find a mate. And is it just me or is this thinking just so…BACKWARDS?

I am 23 and when I tell people that I am single they look at me as if i have leprosy. As if my time to meet someone is running out. And they blame me saying I am just too picky. Well excuse me. Let me just settle on the next guy I meet in order to make you (society) happy.

What I really want to say is SCREW IT. I am still young and I am focused on my career. I know I will meet someone one day but it just hasn’t happened yet. And what if I want to spend the rest of my life with that person. Does that necessarily mean that I need to get married? Who says that I can’t be happy any other way? And what if I never want to have kids? Does that make me a worthless human being. Is it so bad that I want a career not a kid?

3 Comments Add yours

  1. crpeterson says:

    I think your way of thinking is perfect because its what YOU want. I truly believe so many marriages are failing these days because women FREAK OUT in their mid 20’s when they see all their friends getting married and decide that it is time, even if they aren’t with “Mr. Right.”

    I’m getting married in March and while it does feel like the right time for me, I often think about the people who don’t get married until their 30’s, 40’s or even 50’s! There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. In fact, I think having SO much time to explore the world single is healthy, it lets you develop into your own person without having to appease somebody else along the way.

    Anybody who shuns those who don’t want to get married or have children are just close-minded and projecting their own feelings/views onto others. They are probably just jealous of your freedom and they are stuck in bad marriages with litters of poorly behaved children 😉

    1. I like your way of thinking! I definitely think that marriage is right for a lot of people! I know so many married couples who are extremely happy and I believe that getting married was the right thing for them to do. But it does annoy me how much society places an importance on getting married. And you are right, so many get married because they feel that pressure in their 20’s to do so!

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