So I’m sitting at my desk stupidly smiling to myself. You may ask why I have this huge grin on my face and a general feeling of satisfaction. Well, have you ever had that feeling despair upon seeing your ex with another girl? It almost feels like for that brief second you get the wind knocked out of you and time just stands still. You feel as if all the things he ever said and all those moments of your relationship were just a lie. How could he love someone else when he told you that forever, you would be the best? Well, contrary to how you feel, time does not actually stop.
I’ve had a couple of those earth-shattering-time-stands-still moments in my life. Two to be exact. Once with the first love of my life and again with my most recent indiscretion. It’s heartbreaking to watch someone you once cared for be with someone else. And worse even to realize that they’re happy and capable of being happy without you.
Each day it becomes a little easier to deal with. At first you’ll find your mind wandering and thinking about him every free second. The montage of old memories will play over and over in your head. Then that will start to fade. One day you’ll even realize that you haven’t even thought about him in a couple of days. And you’ll think “wow maybe I am over him”- Well think again. The first time you see him with another girl will knock you back down. And it will take a while to get him out of your thoughts again. Then time will pass and you will slowly start to think about other guys. Soon he fades into the past. But this does not mean that you’re over him. Little things will remind you of him every now and then. Drunken nights will bring out the worst emotions in you. Then, as more time passes and life gets in the way, he’ll become a thing of the past. A distant memory of somebody that you used to know.
People say it takes half the time that you dated someone to get over them. Well these people lied. It took me twice as long to get over my last indiscretion. And today was the day I finally realized that I was at that point. I’m over it.
How, you ask, did I come to this conclusion? Well I was perusing Facebook and his name popped up so I decided to click on his profile. (By the way I stopped allowing myself to look at his FB a couple months ago but today I said “What the hell”) Well the first picture to pop up (highlighted I might add) was a picture of him and his new girlfriend hugging and laughing. He was kissing her cheek and she was smiling at the camera. He looked really happy and you know what, so did she. And then I smiled.
Months ago, a picture like that would have knocked the wind out of me. Months ago, it would have ruined my day. But today it made me smile. And the second I realized I was smiling, aside from the shock, I became really content. I looked around my office and thought about all of the great things that have happened since our relationship and realized that I’m finally free.
As Rafiki so wisely put it “Ah yes the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it.” Or in my case, get over it.