Does Being in a Relationship Ensure Your Happiness?

Now this title sounds stupid, I understand that. But sit there and think hard about that statement. Ask yourself: Do you think you would be happier if you had a boyfriend?; Do you secretly envy your friends who are in relationships?; Do you look forward to the weekend so you can go out to the bars (and possibly meet someone?). I do. I admit, most of what I do on the weekend is centered around finding someone (whether it is inadvertent or not). But this is the way we are programmed. Humans live to find mates and are consequently happier when they have one.

At this point in my life my friends are all 22 and 23 years old. We are still at a point in our lives where it is socially acceptable to be single. Most of my friends are single (I’d say about 60%). And let’s be real. We are only 22 (/23). We have our whole lives to find someone. Right now we should be focused on ourselves, our career, saving up enough money to move out of our parent’s house, etc. Not who we are going to spend the rest of our lives with. That seems like too much of an added pressure for a person not even old enough to know how they fit into the world. Think about the person that you were before you even started college…

As I sat and tanned in my backyard on Sunday, I started to analyze my life. I thought back to who I was 5 years ago when I was 17 and I realized that I was a completely different person. My whole outlook on life, the future, and how I wanted to fit into the world was so different. I was a free spirit who loved to aimlessly wander and completely disregard social norms. I surfed, I often didn’t wear shoes, I read intellectual literature, and I was in love with a hippie who taught me to be grateful for every wave in the ocean and beautiful sunset. Fast forward to the present and I find myself working at an investment firm, wanting to be CEO of my own company, and always wearing shoes (designer shoes nonetheless). What happened to the carefree barefoot hippie that I used to be? She grew up, absorbed the world’s pessimism, and got a dose of reality. The person that I would date now (preferably a tall lawyer who likes to run marathons) is SO DIFFERENT from the hippie, pot-smoking, free spirit that I used to date. In other words, I am happy to not be dating any of my ex’s because as much as my 17 year old self loved them, my 22 year old self would strangle them.

But that doesn’t mean I am necessarily happy to be single. I don’t mind all that much because I know that I am still becoming the person I am supposed to be. In 5 years I will probably be dramatically different that I am today. So if you are 22, like me, and ridiculously single, like me; have no fear! I have all of the faith in the world that you will find someone in due time. Oh and be happy while you are single otherwise you will never be happy while in a relationship. ❤

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